Funny Animal Jokes

What do you call a sheep without legs?

A cloud

- First horse that got ridden -
Why do birds fly south for the winter?

Because it's too far to walk!
I don't have a short attention span, I just...

Oh, look a squirrel
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?

An irrelephant
What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?

Bye Son!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye deer
This is a sea horse

Your argument is invalid
How do you count cows?

With a cowculator
I'll get my own damn food
You have 10 fish, 5 drown and 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have?

Stop counting... fish can't drown
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

Which animal is the best pet?

Cats, because they are purrfect
Why do penguins walk softly?

Because they can't walk hardly
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?

A retail store
What is a cat's favorite color?

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender:

"Can I get a ...... Martini?"

The bartender replies: "Why the big paws?"
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A cat-has-trophy!
Why don't cats like shopping online?

They prefer a catalog
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

ten tickles
What do you call a camel with no humps?

What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?

A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?

an investigator
How do you make a squirrel scream?

pinch it's nuts
What do cats like to eat on sunny days?

Mice cream cones!
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