Funny Animal Jokes

What do you call a sheep without legs?


A cloud
“Um”


- First horse that got ridden -
Why do birds fly south for the winter?


Because it's too far to walk!
I don't have a short attention span, I just...


Oh, look a squirrel
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?


An irrelephant
What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?


Bye Son!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?


No eye deer
This is a sea horse


Your argument is invalid
How do you count cows?


With a cowculator
I'll get my own damn food
You have 10 fish, 5 drown and 3 come back to life. How many fish do you have?


Stop counting... fish can't drown
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?


DAM!
Which animal is the best pet?


Cats, because they are purrfect
Why do penguins walk softly?


Because they can't walk hardly
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?


A retail store
What is a cat's favorite color?


Purrple
A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender:

"Can I get a ...... Martini?"


The bartender replies: "Why the big paws?"
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?


A cat-has-trophy!
Why don't cats like shopping online?


They prefer a catalog
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?


ten tickles
What do you call a camel with no humps?


Humphrey
What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?


A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?


an investigator
How do you make a squirrel scream?


pinch it's nuts
What do cats like to eat on sunny days?


Mice cream cones!
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JOKES FOR ADULTS
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