Funny Birthday Jokes

After a certain age, birthdays are like a reverse countdown
Research shows that 4 out of 5 people can expect money in their birthday cards

Happy Birthday, number 5!
How come you didn’t get me a present for my birthday?

Well, you did tell me to surprise you
Honey, you really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday

Do them tomorrow
What birthday gift will most offend a state employee?

A motion detector
Daughter on her 16th birthday: Daddy, do you think I’m old enough to get my drivers’ licence?

Father: You – yes. Our car – no.
Is it getting hot in here?

Or is it just all the candles on your birthday cake?
Happy birthday

In dog years, you’re dead.
Honey, what do you want for your birthday?

"I want a divorce"

Sorry, I wasn’t intending to spend that much.
You're not becoming older and wiser

You're becoming older and wider!
It's been scientifically proven that too many birthdays can kill you
What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday?

Forget it once!
What goes up and never comes down?

Your age
Got a birthday card from the funeral home

I'm not impressed

They only want me for my body
This is the first time they celebrated my birthday in 7 years
I'm not 30

I'm $29.95 plus tax
I don't know how to act my age

I've never been this old before
What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?

Get married on his birthday
What is a meaning of a true friend?

One who remembers your birthday but not your age!
What did one candle say to the other candle?

"Don't birthdays burn you up?"
Why did you light my cake on fire?
It's your birthday. I like to propose a toast.
You know you're getting old when it feels like the morning after but you did nothing the night before
But i wanted a mouse
Age is something that doesn't matter unless you are cheese

happy birthday
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