Funny Cat Jokes

What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats
What is a cat's favorite song?

Three Blind Mice
Why are cats like potato chips

You can never have just one
How do cats end a fight?

They hiss and make up!
Dogs can't operate MRI machines

But catscan
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?

Because of its bark
I'll get my own damn food
Which animal is the best pet?

Cats, because they are purrfect
What is a cat's favorite color?

What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A cat-has-trophy!
If cats could talk...

they wouldn't
Why don't cats like shopping online?

They prefer a catalog
Well, that's just rude
There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats!
What's the difference between a dog and a cat?

A dog will drop everything and come when you call. A cat will check its schedule, and try to fit you in
What kind of sports car does a cat drive?

A Furrari
What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?

A catastrophe!
What do cats like to eat on sunny days?

Mice cream cones!
Hello sweetie

hello future slave!
What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?

I just love baskin' robins.
Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire

Cats will quietly sneak out the back door
Helen Keller and her beloved cat mittens
This is a cat. He does not hate you because of your ethnicity, your sexuality, your gender, your appearance, or your religion

He hates you because he is a cat
Soon you'll find me booty in yer face!
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