Funny Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris ran a marathon once...

because it was on his way home
Chuck Norris and Superman once agreed to a fight

The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside of their pants
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris

But it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives
Chuck Norris pulled out a gun and killed an army of 50,000

Then he started shooting
I use a stunt double...

for crying scenes
When Chuck Norris kicks air...

Someone still gets hurt
Death once had a near Chuck Experience
Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood
Doctor: "You're having twins!"

Girl starts to cry

"Aren't you happy?"

Blonde: "I am, but I don't know who the second father is!"
I don't try to be sexy

sexy tries to be me
When Chuck Norris crosses the street...

cars have to look both ways
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone
Chuck Norris died but he's alright now
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the shower. He stares at it until it starts to cry
When Chuck Norris tells a joke
While learning CPR Chuck Norris brought the dummy to life
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head
When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital
Experience points. It's important to remember that even Chuck Norris was once just another nook
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the Earth down
United tried to remove Chuck Norris
The flu has to get Chuck Norris shots once a year
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his room

The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move
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