Funny Corny Jokes

No more corny jokes please

you're gonna make me puma pants
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?

Well, the wedding was terrible but the reception was great!
Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet

Because he was always lost at c
I wasn't speeding officer...

but I passed several people who were!
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:

"A beer please, and one for the road"
I bought a ceiling fan the other day

Complete waste of money

He just stands there applauding and saying "Ooh, I love how smooth it is"
Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room!

Tell him I can't see him right now
I saw a show about beavers last night..

best dam documentary I’ve ever seen!
How to get a beach body?

1. Have a body

2. Go to the beach
I owe a lot to the sidewalks...

they’ve been keeping me off the streets for years
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop
What did the finger say to the thumb?

I'm in glove with you
I gave all my dead batteries away today

free of charge
What did the alien say to the gardener?

"Take me to your weeder"
A man drops his phone off the roof, but the phone is fine, how come?

He had it on airplane mode
I've been told my jokes are corny
Did you hear about the sensitive burglar

He takes things personally
Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common
Are you Christmas, because I want to Merry you.
"Excuse me miss, can I have the time?

I'd check my watch but I can't take my eyes off you"
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