Funny Dog Jokes

I named my dog "5 miles"...

So I can tell people that I walk 5 miles every day!
Happy birthday


In dog years, you’re dead.
What kind of dog doesn't bark?


A Hush Puppy
Dogs can't operate MRI machines


But catscan
Why don't blind people go skydiving?


Because it scares their dogs too much
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot


It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away
I gave my dog a name


I wonder if my dog gave me a name?
I need to see a dentist


one of my canines is getting loose
So i went to a zoo the other day, but they only had one dog


It was a Shitzu
Why do dogs make terrible dancers?


Because they have two left feet
Today has been


Ruff
Dogs > Kids


Because i'd rather have a ruined carpet than a ruined life
I don't always bark at night


but when i do, it's for no reason
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?


A cat-has-trophy!
What kind of dog does Dracula have?


A bloodhound!
What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?


He stole the show!
What do you call a cold dog?


A Chilli Dog
What did the dog say when he lost all his money?


I'm paw!
I'm just saying it's hurtful


you shouldn't blame all your farts on me
What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?


A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!
What is a dogs favorite instrument?


A trombone
What's a dog's favorite food?


Anything that's on your plate!
What's the difference between a dog and a cat?


A dog will drop everything and come when you call. A cat will check its schedule, and try to fit you in
What dog can jump higher than a tree?


Any dog can jump higher than a tree, trees can't jump
What is the only kind of dog you can eat?


A hot dog!
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JOKES FOR ADULTS
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