Funny Father Jokes

Daughter: “How do I look, daddy?!”

Dad: “With your eyes, sweetheart.”
Daughter on her 16th birthday: Daddy, do you think I’m old enough to get my drivers’ licence?

Father: You – yes. Our car – no.
I told my dad that he should embrace his mistakes

With tears in his eyes he hugged me and my sister
According to my mirror I am pregnant

The father is Nutella
Doctor: "You're having twins!"

Girl starts to cry

"Aren't you happy?"

Blonde: "I am, but I don't know who the second father is!"
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card"

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents"
Stan, where have you been?

Your mother's been worried sick and I've been watching TV
Father: How do you like going to school son?

Son: Going and coming back is fine, but the bit in the middle ruins everything!
Forgive me father, for i have chased the mail man again.... ooh, and i bit him a little
Did you get your looks from your mother or your father?

From my father, but mostly just the look of disappointment
"Everything's starting to click for me!" said my father at dinner

"My knees, my elbows, my neck… "
What make you think the kid is mine?
If a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests
What does a disappointed mother turkey tell her kids?

If your father could see you now, he'd be turning over in his gravy!
I would give my dad what he really wants on Father's Day

but I can't afford to move out yet
My father suffers from short term memory loss

I hope it doesn't run in the family because my dad has it
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