Funny Friend Jokes
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore...
So I sent him a
"Get well soon" card
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like
A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish
It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish
My friends tell me I'm too condescending
That means I talk down to people
My ex-wife was deaf
She left me for a deaf friend of hers
To be honest, I should have seen the signs
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card"
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents"
What is a meaning of a true friend?
One who remembers your birthday but not your age!
How do oysters call their friends?
On shell phones
Why did the triangle refuse to be friends with the circle?
Because it was pointless
What do you say to your single friends on Valentine's Day?
Happy Independence Day!
My friend gave me his Epi-Pen as he was dying
It seemed very important to him that I have it
I asked my North Korean friend what's it like to live there
He said he can’t complain
My friend told me that onions are the only food that makes you cry
So I threw an apple at his face
You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends
Friend: I wasn’t that drunk!
Me: Dude you asked your girlfriend if she was single
911: Hello, this is 911 emergencies, how may i help you?
Me: My friend is dead
911:Are you sure he is dead
Me: Let me check (gunshot)
I always tell new hires, "Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you"
What’s better than a good friend?
A good friend with chocolate
Why did the two oceans become friends?
They kept waving at each other
Why should you keep your best friends forever?
They know too much
JOKES FOR ADULTS
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