Funny Kids Jokes

Dogs > Kids

Because i'd rather have a ruined carpet than a ruined life
Where do pencils spend their vacations?

In Pencilvania
A two year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it
I don't think you understand mom. I need lightup shoes so I can run faster
I Child-Proofed My House But They Still Get In
I'd say the negotiations went much better than expected, bedtime was pushed back 10 minutes
Mom told me not to touch it
The doctor said it's cooties... I think you should get yourself checked
My young son ran to me, crying. "Daddy, I stubbed my toe," he sobbed.

"Let me kiss it and make it better," I said. "Which toe was it?"

"The one that has no roast beef"
What is the difference between a teacher and a train?

One says, "Spit out your gum" and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"
Future lawyer? he was told not to step outside.
Hold on i can explain
A parent's job is basically a daily struggle to help a crazy person stay alive
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