Funny Man Jokes

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

Next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
Why did the blind man fall down the well

Because he couldn't see that well
How do we know Santa is a man?

No woman would wear the same outfit for so many years in a row
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing...

either the car is new or the wife is new
A man walks into a bar

He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family
A man went to hospital with 10 plastic horses in his stomach

His condition is now stable
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:

"A beer please, and one for the road"
The man who created autocorrect passed away

Restaurant in peace
Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room!

Tell him I can't see him right now
Every man has this look when his wife is driving
What did the elephant say to the naked man?

That's cute, but can it pick up peanuts!
Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop
What do you do when you see a spaceman?

Park in it man!
A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage

Sadly, he lost his case
During labor the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a fever
Teacher: Why are you late?

Kid: A man lost a 100 dollar bill.

Teacher: Were you helping him look for it?

Kid: No. I was standing on it.
Why did the man put a clock under his desk?

He wanted to work overtime
Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

He wanted some cold hard cash
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?

Why did God create man first?

Because he needed a rough draft before making women perfect
How can you tell if a man is lying?

You can see his lips moving
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?

Telling you his real name
A man walks into the psychiatrist office wearing only plastic wrap

The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see your nuts"
What does it mean when a man is laying in bed calling a woman's name and gasping for breath?

She's hasn't held the pillow down long enough
What's the most common sleeping position for a man?

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