Funny Marriage Jokes
How is a marriage like a hot bath?
Once you get used to it,
it's not so hot
Love may be blind...
but marriage is a real eye opener
How guy's propose
On one knee
How girl's propose
I haven’t spoken to my wife for 18 months...
I don’t like to interrupt her
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
"I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it"
What is the number one cause of divorce?
Husband: I'm going to make you the happiest woman in the world
Wife: I'll miss you
Why are married women heavier than single women?
When single women come home they go to see what's in the fridge then go to bed
Married women come home, see what's in bed then go to the fridge
What are married men's two greatest assets?
A closed mouth and an open wallet
Daughter: "Mum, how long have you been married to dad?"
"Oh, and how many do you still have left?"
What does marriage do?
Puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes
Husband: Wow darling, you look great today. Did you do something to your hair?
Wife: I’m over here!!!
I’m pretty sure I married someone else’s soulmate
If only they’d come around and take him off my hands
If a mother is laughing at the fathers jokes, it means they have guests
My wife and I had a two hour fight about whether or not we were fighting
When a newly married woman smiles, all know why, but when a ten-years married woman smiles, all wonder why.
Get married early in the morning
That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day
JOKES FOR ADULTS
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