Funny Mean Jokes
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Honey, you really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday
Do them tomorrow
This is the fifth year in a row that my in-laws have come over for Christmas
Maybe we should let them in this time
Why shouldn't you marry a tennis player?
Because "love" means nothing to them
In dog years, you’re dead.
I told my dad that he should embrace his mistakes
With tears in his eyes he hugged me and my sister
You're not becoming older and wiser
You're becoming older and wider!
Laugh at your problems...
everybody else does
My friends tell me I'm too condescending
That means I talk down to people
Roses are red, violets are blue
Faces like yours, belong in the zoo
Don't be mad, i'll be there too
Not in the cage, but laughing at you
Keep on talking...
I'm sure you’ll say something intelligent one day
I'm a pile up
I'm a pile up who?
Yes you are
What rhymes with "boo" and really stinks?
What does it mean when a man is laying in bed calling a woman's name and gasping for breath?
She's hasn't held the pillow down long enough
Girl: "How much do you love me?"
Boy: "Look up at the stars, that's how much I love you."
Girl: "But it’s morning, there are no stars?"
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a 'mean' thing to say!
"Wow you look great! Did you lose weight?"
"Hey! – does that mean you thought I was ugly and fat before!"
Do you know the joke where the idiot says no?
I texted my wife today saying "I love u"
She replied, "Oh, really? :)"
"Yes", i said, "it's my favorite vowel"
JOKES FOR ADULTS
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