Funny Men Jokes

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and good looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?

"Hold my purse"
During labor the pain is so great that a woman can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a fever
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness

No we won't
Why do so few men end up in Heaven?

They never stop to ask directions
Why are all jokes about women one-liners?

So men can understand them
How many men does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

One... He just holds the bulb up and waits for the room to revolve around him
Why can't men get mad cow disease?

Because they're pigs
What are married men's two greatest assets?

A closed mouth and an open wallet
How do men exercise on the beach?

By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini
What did God say after creating man?

"I can do so much better"
How men see bathrooms. How women see bathrooms.
If you have a beard but can't change a tire. Shave
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends
What’s the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?


They both think they know everything
Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want
Mistakes men make: 1. Doing things 2. Not doing things. 3. Thinking about doing things. 4. Not thinking about doing things
I never used to believe that men evolved from apes...

But then I met YOU!
Women sometimes make fools out of men...

but most guys are the "do it yourself" type
What do men and mascara have in common?

They both run at the first sign of emotion
Men swear they know everything until you ask them "who is she?"
What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking
3 men are stranded in a boat with 4 cigarettes and no way to light them

So they tossed the 4th cigarette overboard

which made the whole boat a cigarette lighter!
Women who seek to be equal to men...

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