All The Best Jokes From A To Z!

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better man

so that I can get a better girlfriend
He sits on other dogs he likes
What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?

An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood
I get so sad when my food's coming to an end
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his room

The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move
My mom used the Dominos app for the first time and forgot to get sauce and cheese
My family treats me like a god

They only talk to me when they want something
When you hear someone breaking into the house but you always get in trouble for barking. Barks internally.
God finally answered my prayers to win the lottery

The answer is no
Model joke
I'd tell you a great time travel joke

but you didn't like it
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia. She whispered: "They're right behind you"
When i die i want my kids to carry my casket

So they can let me down one more time
Your Uber driving is arriving now
I tried changing my password to "14 days"

but it was two week
You already know the punchline

What is the worst part about time travelling jokes?
What if I am the pet and my human is tho owner?
I wish I was poor one day in my life

Because being poor everyday sucks
The official friend zone logo
Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college

I am forever in your debt
Barber shop car
My wife is weird

She begins every conversation with "Were you even listening to me?"
Finally an award for me. Cry baby of the year.
If I had a nickel for every time I thought of you

I'd start thinking about you
So Donald Trump walks into a bar

and lowers it
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