Funny Time Jokes

This is the fifth year in a row that my in-laws have come over for Christmas

Maybe we should let them in this time
The barman says, “We don’t serve time travelers in here”

A time traveler walks into a bar
Last time I was someone type...

I was donating blood
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like
What do snowmen do in their spare time?

The first time I got a universal remote control...

I thought to myself "This changes everything"
Am I the only one who measures time using songs?

"It only took me 4 songs to get here! That's not that long!"
If I had a dollar for every time I needed a dollar...

I wouldn't need a dollar
Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?

Because he wanted to see time fly!
If I had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly...

I'd be broke because I'm perfect
Where do cows like to go in their spare time?

In the Muuuuuuseum
When is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth Hurty!
It's always darkest before dawn

So if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it
Me: I'm gonna start eating healthy

Also me: Treat yourself one last time, you deserve it
This is the first time they celebrated my birthday in 7 years
Why does your dog run into the corner every time the bell rings?

He’s a Boxer
What does a clock do when it's hungry?

It goes back four seconds
2 guys are sitting in a bar, one says:

"What a bummer, every time I meet a pretty girl it's the same thing"

"Either she's married, or I am"
What's the difference between time and Kobe?

Time passes
Stats show the average person has sex 89 times per year

Looks like I'm in store for a wild December!
What kind of candy is never on time?

Choco late
How do men exercise on the beach?

By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini
When your boss thanks u for staying late at work but u were just looking at memes and lost track of time
I know what I'm doing next time it snows
When is the best time to buy budgies

When they're going cheep!
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