Funny Women Jokes

Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make

Then they call me ugly and poor
My girlfriend told me to see things from a girl's point of view...

so I looked out the kitchen window
There's two theories about arguing with women

Neither one works
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and good looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends
Hi, ho. What are you doing?

Nothing, babe. Just women stuff

You crashed the car again?
Why did God create man first?

Because he needed a rough draft before making women perfect
Why are married women heavier than single women?

When single women come home they go to see what's in the fridge then go to bed

Married women come home, see what's in bed then go to the fridge
Why are all jokes about women one-liners?

So men can understand them
How men see bathrooms. How women see bathrooms.
Women say that childbirth is the most painful experience of their lives..

until they start stepping on Legos about three years later
You really are the most jealous woman I know

Oh, so you know lots of other women, do you?!
It's raining must protect hair with laptop
During a disaster we evacuate the women and children first, so we can think about a solution in silence
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends
I heard women love a man in uniform

Can’t wait to start working at McDonalds
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup
I told you i'll be ready in FIVE minutes, stop calling me every half hour
Mood swings. Available every five minutes.
Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want
As long as everything is exactly the way I want, I'm totally flexible
When females take group photos. Gravity suddenly gets a lot stronger
There's no key to a woman's heart

There's only a password that changes regularly
In 48 years I've said I love you to two women

and every dog I've ever seen
Women sometimes make fools out of men...

but most guys are the "do it yourself" type
I'm drawn toward women who are beautiful when they are angry

because once we start dating that's how they'll look 90% of the time
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