Funny Work Jokes

Why are elephants poor?

Because they work for peanuts
I have a very secure job

There’s nobody else who would want it
Relationships are like fat people...

Most of them don't work out
I always arrive late at the office...

but I make up for it by leaving early

To avoid injury do not tell me how to do my job
I asked God for a bike...

but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness
Right now, I’m at work, using the Internet

But in my mind, I’m already at home, using the Internet
There's two theories about arguing with women

Neither one works
I told my girlfriend to come with me to the gym

Then I stood her up

Hopefully, she’ll realize the two of us are not going to work out
I love my job so much I'd do it for nothing

Unfortunately they know this
Jokes about unemployed people are not funny

They just don't work
Hard work never killed anyone...

but why chance it
What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

A can't opener!
The weather while you work

The weather on a day off
Why did the man put a clock under his desk?

He wanted to work overtime
I’ve used up all my sick days

so I’m calling in dead
Managers be like "you still coming in right?"
When your boss thanks u for staying late at work but u were just looking at memes and lost track of time
When you arrive home after work, your dog will be extremely happy to see you and will lick your face

The cat will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place
What's the most important skill when you work in an orange juice factory?

Work smarter. Not harder.
It's Jamaican hairstyle day at work tomorrow

I'm dreading it
My new girlfriend works at the zoo

I think she's a keeper
My wife rang me at work on Valentine's Day

She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received bunches of flowers. They're absolutely gorgeous"

I said, "That's probably why they've been sent flowers then"
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